


Why are you being like this

by Rosa_Diaz



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Comfort, F/F, POV Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Suicide Attempt, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27529714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosa_Diaz/pseuds/Rosa_Diaz
Summary: People seemed to like the last thing I wrote and I felt bored . Kudos if you want to see what happens next .
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 17
Kudos: 59





	1. What happened in rome

Rome - 6 months ago  
"What do you think is happening here?"  
My heart drops but I put on a smile and advance to cup eves beautiful face in my hand "what , I think we..." im interrupted by eve smacking my hand away. I feel empty , why is eve doing this ? " you think we'd be what , bonnie and Clyde ? Go a killing spree ? Cut a few throats!" She is making me angry now , why does she always have to ruin everything? "Stop it." I snap.

Eve starts to get closer to me now , her voice rasing " You want me to be a mess! You want me to be scared! But im like you now." She starts getting closer and i back off a little " I'm not afraid of anything. This is what you wanted." I don't know what to do , she wanted this , otherwise she wouldn't have saved me . " This is what you wanted! " I spit with a snarl in my voice .  
I regret it immediately , and lift my hand to her face once more and say more softly " this is what you wanted."  
Eve moves back from my hand , I don't understand ! She saved me , she wants me ! 

She starts to turn and walk away , the gravel of the ruins crunching under her feet . I take a deep breath , breathing in the warm Roman air and trying to clear my mind . " No Eve," I say shaking my head , she can't be doing this "Eve , wait , why are you being like this !" When I say it , it sounds angry but it's actually desperation screaming in my head .

" You love me " i whisper trying to keep tears in check. Eve shakes her head , empty of emotion and they say im the psychopath?! "No" . Why did she save me . " I love you !" The desperation seeps into my voice now . "No". But i do ! "I do !" I say trying not to cry as happiness walks further away . " You don't understand what that is !"

That stings deeply , I do understand, why can't she understand? I only put up for that asshole Aaron for her . I cried for her , I never cry , never . " I do ," I say trying to make eye contact so she can see that I do because I could never describe it with words. She wont make eye contact so I have to try . "You're mine " I say because I care about whats mine deeply . She says "No"

"You are ! YOUR MINE !" I shout and it echos around the ruins . Why can't she understand me , she is still walking away ! "Eve?" I shout desperately.   
Saddness envelops me , like a cold embrace. "I thought you were special," I tell her . Because I did , I thought she would be the one that said yes when I asked for a family, apparently not . 

She turns one last time , tears welling in her eyes . Why is she crying? She goes to leave . A strange calmness comes over me , I know what I have to do. I raise an unwavering arm ,aim the gun at eve and clench my hand . A shot rings out in the ruins and eve collapses. I turn and walk away from her bleeding corpse. 


	2. The end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy , dont know if I'll do part three or not

Barcelona - modern day 

"Honey, I'm going to stay at my friends house tonight , we're having a movie night " I shout to my new fiancee. I hate calling her honey, but she was rich so I seduced her, after Rome. Rome is the reason for many things , including what i'm about to do . " Ok baby, text me if you need a ride back, have fun!" I shudder and grab my car keys and some cash and walk out the door. I don't bother locking the door.

It's been six months since I killed Eve . For the first week I thought nothing of it, getting on an aeroplane and coming up with a new identity. I found my fiancee, who is rich but extremely boring. I was fine. But soon enough eves bleeding body started to star in my dreams. She started appearing more and more often. Then I started seeing her on the streets, when she wasn't there. "You don't know what that is!"Became the soundtrack of my life . I heard it everywhere. I couldn't understand why she was having this effect on me. I haven't thought about anna until just know , and thats when i'm comparing her to eve .

I slide into my car seat and start the engine. I go much too fast, but I don't care if I crash or get a ticket, I wont have to deal with it anyway. Im driving to a hotel I go to regularly to get away from my fiancee, it seems fitting to go there if I cant go to Rome to do it. I suddenly brake, I swear I saw eve standing in the road with her hands out. "GET OUT OFF MY HEAD!" I scream leaning on the horn. Im on a quiet road so nobody sees my outburst.

Five minutes later i'm at the hotel, its a nice a place you can get when paying upfront in cash.I step out of my car and grab a duffel bag from the boot. I walk in and see a receptionist that I haven't seen before . I walk up and mutter "one night please."She replys, which is odd in its self for this hotel" what name will that be under?" Damn it, the new girl plays by the guidelines. What the hell I think "Villanelle," I mutter and grab the key card thats passed to me . "Room 12," she says not looking up. I smirk, ironic room number. 

I let myself in, same as always, grey walls, one window, white double bed and a small bathroom. It has a pipe sticking out the wall to hang clothes on. I've always thought that was weird . I immediately shut my curtains. 

I pull the duffel bag onto the bed and remove a bottle of champagne and put it in the fridge, its normally turned off because it's too loud, but champagnes this expensive need to be chilled. A champagne flute wrapped in paper, a really nice outfit and a glock. I lay them on the bedside table and kick the duffel bag under the bed.

I chuck myself onto the bed, and I should be sad or having second thoughts, but i'm not . I pull out my phone to look at the few nice photos I found of Eve over time . I see the first photo that I ever saw of her and my throat becomes constricted. "Why does she have such a strange effect on me? I whine to nobody.

I wake up and look around. I had forgot where I was. I glance at my phone to see 6 hours have passed. I sigh, its time, I get up and change. Its nice to feel no emotion for the first time in 6 months, peaceful. The outfit is a very expensive vibrant suit. I thought it expressed my personality well. I unlock the door, makes it easier for other people I guess.I pore myself a glass of champagne and lie on the bed. I sip it slowly while thinking about my life, it was just one sadness after another. I surprised that I made it this far. 

I finish the champagne flute and set it down and grab the glock. I feel an extreme sense of peacefulness. I know this is what I should do. There is a knock at the door I ignore it, I don't care anymore. I cock the gun and place it under my chin. This is it, time to go. I hear a very familiar voice half shout half yelp " that better NOT be a gun being cocked villanelle! "The door bursts open to reveal Eve standing there, eyes wide and handbag in hand.


	3. I would go anywhere with you

In a split second Eve launches herself at me. She can be pretty athletic when she chooses. Before I can say anything she is on me wrestling the gun from my hand . When she gets it out of my hand , which is easier said than done she chucks it hard at the far wall with an almighty crash. Her hands drop to either side of my head and she leans forward. "What the hell were you doing ?!" She basically screams . I don't say anything because I am having a mental debate whether she is real or not. "Are you even listening? " 

"Eve?" I manage to croak out weakly. "Yes its me , now what were you doing ?". I try to speak but my voice cracks I try again and say " you're dead , I shot you ." Eve sighs " im obviously not dead, you missed my vital organs , now tell me what were you doing when I walked in ?".It was at this point that we both realise that she's straddling me . Eve flushes deeply and I smile because that's whenI know she's my eve . Eve doesnt move , she obviously doesn't trust me not to launch for the gun and top myself , which makes me smile more , my cautious Eve . But the smile is short-lived because it soon turns to tears running down my face . I thought I had killed , I thought I killed my only chance at being happy, but she's here .

Eve's face softens and she strokes my cheek gently " hey , don't cry , its ok im here now . But dont ever try that again, i didn't track you down for five months just for you to top yourself, ok ?" She rolls off me and walks over to the gun . She empties and shuts the door, sha puts the dead bolt on . She walks over to me and motions for me to sit up . I do and we sit side by side . "I thought about you all the time eve , I'm so so sorry ," I havent cried this much since my mum left me at that horrible orphanage. Eve looks at me curiously before saying " its ok , i forgive you ." 

I look at her in complete shock " really? " . She nods "really. I should have admitted to myself about my feelings , not hurt you ." I smile so genuinely and my heart flutters , a warm feeling filling my chest . "You have feelings, for me ?" Eve glances at me "yes , I guess I knew it deep down and apparently so did Niko ." I stiffen at the mention of that buffoons name until Eve lifts her hand to show her ring finger empty. "We got divorced 5 months ago." I smile but I realise that this make Eve sad so I frown and say "I'm so sorry Eve" i see her eyebrows raise " Really." I say to make myself clear .

Eve smiles, a sight that fills my heart , then she glances at her watch . "We've got a plane to catch ." She says , standing " that's if you want to come ?" I stand so fast that I give my self head rush . "I would go anywhere with you eve ."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, let me know if you have any ideas for future chapters . I have a few ideas but I'm not sure .


	4. That's better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aeroplane trip

I'm not really sure what happened it happened so fast. All I know is that I'm on a plane with Eve. My sweet Eve. She is sitting in the aisle seat , I tried to take it so she could have the better seat but I think she is scared that I'm going to try to run. Eve also got me a fake ID and passport. She has thought of everything. I can't deserve this , surely not , not with everything I've done. I start to sniffle and my throat constricts horribly. I stand and mutter "Eve can you move please, I need to go to the toilet," she can't see me like this. Eve looks up and raises her eyebrows but moves nevertheless. 

I fumble with the lock and sit on the toilet with my head in my hands. She deserves better than the moustache or me. I'm so selfish. Tears stream down my face relentlessly. Wait she didn't say why she wanted me to come with her. She might not want to be with me at all , my darling Eve might just me handing me over to Carolyn. As revenge for what I did . I start to panic and pace the tiny cubicle. I'm stuck on the plane . I can't get off easily until the airport which they could have armed transport there. My mind races through all the options, not that there are many , until it comes across trusting Eve . Not the most sound plan but I can tell when she is lieing , she is a really terrible liar . I need to trust her , I was going to top myself anyway, without her I would be dead on a shitty hotel bed right now . Trust her , ok , I have done that before. It didn't work, but third times the charm , right ?

I sit down as calmly as possible after washing tear stains off my face and go back to looking out the window because I'm nervous for so many reasons. I zone out until Eve suddenly says " I don't think I've ever seen you so quiet V , are you okay? " . I glance at her "I'm fine, just thinking." She murmurs sceptically and says calmly "V, a person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. So they lose touch with reality and live in a world of illusions. Trust me , I know. Don't go over thinking on me , do what you want to do ." With that she turns her head back to her book . 

I think carefully about what she said . She was saying that she liked how I was before , acting without a care in the world . But now I have Eve back I should feel this way . Not Closed off , isolated and sad still . I just need to know that this is real and live in the moment again. I lay my head on Eve's shoulder and look at her in my peripheral vision to see her reaction. Eve just smile slightly and says "that's better. "I feel content for the first time in 6 months .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to proofread , be warned lol. Not much happens in this chapter. I think I will progress the relationship a bit more next chapter.   
> Tell me what you think I should do . Love feedback

Eve fumbles with the keys to let us into her house. Thats what I can hear anyway. Eve made me go round the back just incase Carolyn decided to keep an eye on Eve. I'm waiting for her to open the back door when I hear Niko's voice ."Hi , I'm here to grab the last box of my things from the shed . I called earlier but you weren't here ." My fists clench at the moustache's voice but then I realise I'm leaning on the shed that he wants the box from. "What ? Oh sure . I'll let you into the garden give me a second ," she says garden much too loud , very discreet Eve.

I contemplate staying where I am , but I know that will make Eve angry , so I scale the fence into the next doors garden . I crouch and steady my breathing so he won't hear me . I hear the oaths footsteps plod to the shed and noisily get the box . When I hear him shut the door I silently get back into Eves garden and go where nobody can see me from the house , something I had done previously. I hear Niko's voice once more , further away this time , I think he is at the gate . "Thanks , thats everything sorted I think , I won't bother you again, bye Eve ." He really doesn't have a way with words.

A minute later Eve opens the backdoor "Villanelle? " I walk out of my hiding spot towards Eve. She shuts the door behind me and smiles at me . "Thank you Villanelle, that was very kind of you ," I shrug pulling my best it was nothing face . "Would you like a tea or a coffee? " she says gently . I think that's what British people do when they are unsure about what to do next or uncomfortable so I nod . "A coffee please, one milk , two sugars ." Eve nods solemnly and paces into the kitchen , I trail after her and seat myself in the same place as the first time I came here .

Eve sits down and places the coffees down carefully. She glances at me nervously. I realise she's used to me making conversation , but I'm nervous too now. I decide on asking about here bullet wound, not the best idea ever but I'm worried about her . When she picks stuff up she winces . "Eve is where I shot you healed ?" I say quietly. Eve's hand moves to her chest obviously where I shot her and she makes eye contact with me . "Yes ." Very short answer I think, judging my next move ." I thought about that all the time Eve . Im so so sorry . I have never regretted doing something so much in my entire life ." My voice becomes slightly choked and tears come to my eyes . I wipe them on the back of my hand and turn away . She can't keep on seeing me like this .

"We're even now Villanelle, come on lets go watch a movie before dinner ." With that she rises just to collapse on the sofa .I mimic her and sit close to her so our legs are touching . Eve looks at me , observing my eyes . "Would you like to see my scar , it'll make you feel better. It's healed really well." At first i really don't want to see it , but then I do , so bad ,because it means she has to take her shirt off . 

I nod and she smiles " I want to see yours too." My heatbeat speeds up significantly, nobody has seen it . Calm down this is Eve , you can trust her . I shift in my seat and lift my shirt up to my bra . She gets closer and caresses it . I wasn't ready for her to touch it . I gasp suddenly and she looks up , concern in her eyes . She retreats and unbuttons her shirt . An angrier looking scar lies in a similar place to mine . But that's all it is , a scar . She's ok . I lay my head on her exposed stomach and she doesn't protest . She puts on a movie but neither of us watch it. We both fall asleep like that. My head laying on her stomach and her hand in my hair . I wish I could stay here forever.


	6. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer . I'm not sure if I should continue. I haven't got many ideas apart from NSFW and I dislike writing in 1st person . I will continue to write others . Let me know if you really want me to continue.

I open my eyes slowly, sunlight streams into the room . I breathe in deeply before realising Eve is gone. I sit up abruptly and look into the kitchen . Shes not there . I am on my feet in a second and I start to pace around the house looking for Eve. "Eve !" I call out . No answer . It's at this point I realise just how empty the house is . Niko took almost everything , it's fine , I'll buy her better things. That's if I can find her. By this point I have cleared every room in the house . I haven't got a phone to call her and I don't know whether she changed her number . It's Eve ,of course she wouldn't have .

I take a few seconds to breathe, that's what my therapist said in Barcelona. I didn't tell them anything real but they kind of helped. Stopped me committing suicide a month earlier so they were good enough. Eve might be old-fashioned enough to have a landline and I know her number off by heart. I set off looking for one . I go upstairs and into her room . Nothing visible. I look at her bed. If I'm ever going to sleep with Eve I'm going to have to buy her a new bed . Niko's been in that one . 

I hear the front door open and I run down the stairs. Eve's standing their with coffee cups and a paper bag. "Good , you are awake ,I got food and coffee because I can't cook for shit ." She sees the tear stains on my face and concern then realisation cross her beautiful face. "I'm so sorry Villanelle, I should off left a note, are you okay ?" I nod and smile " I'm better now you're here , come on , lets eat it smells delicious. " 

When we are seated at the dinner table and eating Eve clears her throat suddenly. My head snaps up "Villanelle, I didn't just go to get coffee. I went and spoke to Carolyn about you," my eyebrows shoot up but Eve continues " she said that she could get you a british ID and driver's license , the lot . She said you could continue with your old job if you wished , she will leave us alone as well ." I take a moment to process this information. Why would she do that , what had Eve agreed to? I speak my mind " why would she do that ?" . Eve looks at me carefully, deciding what to say ." Why? Because she owed me for something I did after Rome. Why isn't she bothered? I guess you weren't so wrong about working for the same people."

This is interesting, I had told Eve that to intimate her. I had suspicions , of course, but I was never sure . Was Eve still working for Carolyn? "Eve , last time I checked the twelve were pretty mad at us both ." Eve shook her head " I have talked with Constantine, we work for the same people remember. The twelve have been looking for you to get you to work again. They are not mad , at least , not anymore . I won't tell them I round you unless you want to work again . Neither will Carolyn "

I take a while to think about this offer . On one hand the job pays well and I could buy Eve stuff. On the other hand Eve might not like me being an assassin. All I care about is Eve so I ask her. "Would you mind if I took my old job back , would you still like me ?" Eve chuckles and gets up . I honestly don't see whats so funny. "I accept you no matter what V , it's okay. I'm still working for them , well mi6 , but it would be a bit hypocritical. Go and have a shower we're going shopping ." I smile ear to ear and get up. "Some clothes I thought would fit you are on the shelf in the bathroom. They aren't expensive but we are going shopping. " 

An hour later we are out on the high street. The clothes Eve brought me for well but I'm excited to get more. It turns out between what Eve was paid to keep quite and money I've stashed all over the world we've got quite a bit . I'm in my element but Eve looks a bit confused by all the designers I'm talking about. I see a shop I like and pull Eve in .Soon enough we have a nice starter wardrobe for me . And a few really nice sets of clothes for Eve that she doesn't know about . We are about to head home when I announce that I'm buying her a new mattress. She raises her eyebrows and says " Why ? I only got a new one a month ago . My old one was very old and smelt of Niko." I am surprised by this to say the least but nod. 

...

When we are back home I start to put my clothes away . I put the outfits that I got for Eve in between the many turtle necks for her to find and stroll downstairs. Eve is trying to cook dinner but the smell of burning had filled the kitchen . I laugh from the doorway and she sees me and mutters "asshole" . I clean up with her . She murmurs something about takeaway but I grab her and turn her round. I kiss her on the forehead. " I'll cook silly , go find a film , a good one " . Eve blushes deeply , obviously from the kiss but foes what I told her too. 

By 6 we are sitting on the couch eating spaghetti. Intentional on my part but Eve hadn't said anything at all. She had picked Harry Potter and the deathly Hallows but i had nether watched any Harry Potter movies at all. This had shocked Eve greatly and she insisted on watching them all with me. She claimed it was blasphemy not to of watched them. When we have finished I take everything away and wash up. I hear Eve rise behind me and start to dry. Soon enough we sit back down and unpause the film .

I notice Eve has spaghetti sauce in the corner of her lips and I wipe it off. Eve looks at me surprised but turns back to the film. By the End of Prisoner of azkaban (which I thought was very good ) I really want to kiss Eve but I'm scared she'll reject me . After debating this in my mind I decide to ask her ." Eve ," she turns to me " can I kiss you ?" She seems to think about it forever before whispering "yes" . I lean in gently and cup her cheek with hand before kissing her gently

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, kudos if you want a part two .


End file.
